Hi Guys,
So this morning
began in an unfortunately familiar way – with the sound of my cat
trying to throw up the contents of her stomach on to my face!
Naturally being a cat owner I took this as a sign. Cats, as everyone
knows, are able to predict the future with incredible accuracy. It's
why they're never around when hard work beckons! Unfortunately this
remarkable ability is possessed by creatures with the temperaments of
… well cats. So instead of using it to give their owners insights
into the coming days and even warn them of impending doom, they
prefer to use it to predict events that have already happened and
then laugh at them!
Which brings me to
yesterday. A day which also began in an unfortunate way when the
marge in my electric fry-pan as I fried some eggs decided to start
spitting at me and caught me perfectly on the tip of my nose. A nose
which I might add had already been attacked by my cat three days
before and so was particularly sensitive!
After the screaming
had died down – and the cat's laughter as she had naturally
predicted the event and found herself the perfect position to watch
from – the rest of my day proceeded to go from bad to worse.
Bad was when I got
to watch the rubbish truck drive straight past my wheelie bin without
stopping. I suspect that the Council has started hiring cats as
drivers! Worse was when rushing outside to yell and shake my fist at
the retreating rubbish truck I somehow managed to tumble on the drive
and ended up lying in a puddle of filthy water! Worse still followed
when I decided to clean myself up and discovered that the hot water
had run out! But the truly terrible and completely unmitigated
disaster was when my editor rang me up to say she was making good
progress with my latest book and she liked the story!
Damn it! Hasn't she
heard of the kiss of death?!
So now as I sit here
writing this and waiting for the ceiling to collapse on top of me, I
find myself wondering – will it be enough to simply beat myself
over the head with my computer? Or will a true blood sacrifice be
required?! But it could be worse I suppose. I could be superstitious!
Still the good news
is that Fineas and Tusk: The Epic Journey of a Man and His Pig, is
approaching publication. The cover art has been done, and it looks
glorious. The artist by the way is Andrew Morris – vanmorrisman on
Deviant Art – check out his work. (I added the titles by the way,
so don't blame him for that!)
So that's been my
last day or so. I hope you've all had a better time of things. And as
always, be good or don't get caught!
Cheers, Greg.
