Art Mystery 101

 Hi Guys,

Merry Christmas tomorrow! (And Happy New Year shortly!)

And yes just a brief note from me to tell you that I'm still working on Art Mystery 101. At this stage it's only a few days away from finishing and so should be out some time between Christmas and New Years. I've simply been struggling with the final couple of chapters, but I think I've got them dealt with now. 

After that it should be Good Neighbours - my first book of the new year, an urban sci fi, which is mostly done. I'm just trying to finish it up now and add to the general craziness of the story! (And especially the aliens, because why shouldn't aliens be a little nuts! They came to Earth after all!)

As for me, I've finally got two working eyes again - and let me tell you it's so much better having cataract surgery done when you're unconscious. Much less stressful than watching someone come at your eye with a knife! Also I learned a brand new word, which I'm fairly sure the eye doctors have just made up for kicks. Pseudophakic. (Actually bilaterally pseudophakic.) It basically means I have fake lenses in my eyes. In any case they sort of work and driving has become far less hit and miss, but I think I might need reading glasses for the close up stuff.

On the more negative side, I had a tooth die - which was weird. The outside enamel simply decided to part company with the rest of the tooth and what was left was a huge mercury filling which was slowly crunching down with every bite. Anyway, the tooth's gone now which is a relief, but the bills were shocking. The extraction was about $400 all up, which is good. A crown would have been $1600. And from there the prices for the other options just went up! (The dentist really did try to sell me that crown!) 

By contrast the eye surgery was free. Public health and all that!

But it makes me think - what else is going to fall off or have to be replaced? And how much of me will still be organic by the time I shuffle off? Anyway that's just life I suppose.

So for now, have a good holidays all.

Cheers, Greg.

Damn It! I Published Model Behaviour!

Hi Guys,

Yes, I did it! I published the very book that I said I wouldn't for a while! Sorry! And yes, it uses a lot of the tropes I've used elsewhere, which is why I didn't want to put it out too soon. (Detective plot with a white woman turning black through a genetic engineering tweak etc.) But in my own defense - I have none! However, it is a fascinating idea and one that I think has legs. Also it's a good story which was a lot of fun to write and even to revise and edit! And Deep Dream came up with a great cover for it too. (All hail our AI overlords!)

Anyway I'm hoping that it will be a quick, fun read, and I hope people won't guess who the bad guy is too soon. And to give you some idea of what it's about, here's the blurb:

Models are tough. Stupid tough! But the brutal cosmetic surgeries Chloe Carter had recently undergone had pushed her stupidity to its limits! Still here she was, completely transformed by the surgeon's scalpel, walking out on the catwalk once again, basking in the warmth of the cameras – until one lone fascist with a gun decided to ruin her night.

Meanwhile, as Chloe was dealing with the aftermath of the attack and starting to realise that her career as an elite model might be over, Kirk Potter was staring at the dead body of her boss. A man who had been horrifically killed. And trying to work out how it related to either the hundred million dollar life insurance policy he had, or the attack on the fashion show.

Two violent crimes, two days apart, linked only by the fact that the attacks had been committed against members of the same agency, Précieuse Models. And he had to solve them. Before his company had to pay out on the claims – or his boss' head exploded!

So that's it guys, and may we all live well or die trying!

Cheers, Greg.

 

RUN!

 Hi Guys,

As you may have noticed I've been offline for a while now. No great mystery about it I'm afraid - I put my back out about three or four weeks ago, and haven't been able to stand, walk or sit down for any length of time since then. I'm really annoyed about it - long time ago I had a physio tell me that once you pass fifty the frequency of back seizures decreases. Haven't noticed it! And in fact the last couple of seizures have been the worst I've had in years!

Any way the good news is that while I've been offline I have still been writing - by virtue of lying on a couch and typing on a laptop on a coffee table! And as a consequence, I have managed to complete the rough draft of another mystery / detective. The title is Run, and I think the cover will be based on the image above. It still needs to be edited and revised so publication will be a little way off.

Actually I've written two, but the other one - Model Behavior - won't be published for a good while as it falls back into too many old tropes of mine. (The cover might be a little racy too!)

And sadly, I've also been spending a lot of time watching Youtube videos - including a lot of short stories. The one thing I have noticed - most of them appear to be AI generated. Oddly they don't just have the same plots, they have the same character names which spring up again and again. For example, I don't know how many different space navy officers and scientists named so and so Chen - but if that's your name it looks like your career path is already sorted! Congrats! 

Also why does every spaceship in a battle decide to do "jinking"? (I think it's a typo that's somehow been cut and pasted by every AI program out there. You'd think that one of them would have the sense to read a dictionary - unless of course jinking has been added to it!)

The other thing that keeps popping up are the repeated variations of whole sections of text, as if someone decided to rewrite a section, add a few lines here and there to it, and then just pasted it in without cutting the old section. It's really strange and somewhat disconcerting. But then again, maybe that's simply my editing eye coming out. That's one of the consequences of becoming a writer and editing so much of your work - you can't read anything else without picking up issues.

Anyway, that's where I'm at, and hope to have Run out by the time I next update the blog. And I hope you guys are having a better time health wise than me!

Cheers, Greg.

Happy New Year!

 Hi Guys,

So new year - old problems!

As you may have noticed another book got published right at the end of last year - and strangely enough it wasn't Druid! Those of you who read my posts will know that this is nothing out of the ordinary. I get side tracked and things happen. Which is more or less exactly what happened to me, yet again.

So "The Hunt" is out. Another Detective / Police Procedural / Mystery which follows some well-worn themes - like someone needing to use extreme plastic surgery to escape her would be killers, but handles them in a new way. But it also has some new plot points, new locales, and a much more hard-bitten hero. (The only one who comes with his own armored car and an arsenal!) He also has a somewhat more jaundiced view of the world. And yes - this time I let the bad guys destroy the world! (Just a little bit! But you know - the bad guys just lose so much - they need a little reward every now and then!)

Oh, and the cover as you can probably guess comes from Deep Dream. (Long may our AI overlords rule over us!)

So here's the blurb:

Once she had been Chrissy Fuller – cover model. Then she had become Chrissy Gordon – abused wife. And now she was Brittany Holder – terrified. Fleeing for her life after shooting her husband. Desperate enough to take any risk.

Icarus West meanwhile had always been a soldier. Now he just used his skills as a private detective to recover what was missing. People and property. But little could he know when he was asked to find Harry Gordon's missing wife, that it would lead to disaster. He just knew the guy was bad. That he meant to do his runaway wife harm. And that he couldn't take the case.

But actions have consequences. So does inaction. And sometimes those consequences were completely unpredictable!

Both Brittany and West were stepping into a world they just didn't understand! Where nothing was as it seemed! But one that could kill them both if they made a single mistake!

Hope you enjoy and have a great new year.

Cheers, Greg.

Druid's Almost Ready For Publishing

Hi Guys,

To begin with I thought I'd let you know that Druid is now almost ready to roll off the presses. It's an urban fantasy that will hopefully be out in time for Christmas after just a little more editing.

The other thing I wanted to tell you is that that image you see at the top of the post is me - sort of! (Or it could be me if I shed twenty years, a hundred pounds, got to the gym a lot more, grew some designer stubble, maybe used a little hair dye, and underwent some plastic surgery,) Really, it's a dead ringer for me! At least Deep Dream seems to think as much.

The reason I wanted to show you this, is that this was a fun experiment which I only thought of the other day and tried out simply to see what would happen. And it's amazing! Normally when I use Deep Dream I use only a written command prompt, and often get some very random images. The people it comes up with might not be very representative of the instructions I gave the program or the image in my head. But if you add a photo as a reference, you tend to get something far truer to the image. And then it occurred to me - what if I began with a photo of myself?!

So, I tried it, using a minimal command prompt and a photo and got something that was of course a supermodel twenty year old guestimate of me. And while it was pretty, I really couldn't see a lot of myself in it. But by adding a little to the command prompt description and playing with the parameters I got the above - which is probably fifty percent me and fifty percent the AI's built-in biases for young and beautiful people. And it's truly strange and amazing and awesome to look at it and see something that's almost me. A little like staring into the uncanny valley! (And then for variety, I started using some of the other engines on Deep Dream like photoreal, fantasy and artistic and got even more weird and whacky versions!) It's been a blast!

And yes, I know, AI is terrible, and all the machines are going to rise up and destroy us shortly, but damn - some of it is worth the ride towards the apocalypse!

So I think my point here, is to recommend to all of you that you try the same experiment with photos of yourselves and whichever AI you use and see what comes out. It's just so damned much fun!

Anyway, that's just my two cents worth, and I hope you take it for what it's worth. I'll also try to put out another post before the end of the year. (Maybe I'll even try to hit the gym again too now that I know what I could almost be like if I really, really, really work at it!) And in the meantime, as usual, be good or don't get caught.

Cheers, Greg.

 

 

Freaksville is Coming Along Nicely

Hi Guys,

 

 

Just thought I'd write a short post to tell you that, no, I haven't been just simply sitting on my arse, twiddling my thumbs all this time. (Just some of it!) In fact I've been busy writing two different novels - oh the perils of being a pantster! 

The first is "A Ghost Of A Chance" which is about an astral traveler in a steampunk world who discovers all the strange troubles his talent can get him in. At the moment I'm a little bit blocked on it, which is why the second book, "Freaksville" is coming along a little faster. Freaksville is an urban fantasy set in New Zealand about an engineer trapped in a community full of nyads, dryads and - you guessed it - faeries. It also skirts the boundaries between urban fantasy and urban sci fi which means it may end up being classed as science fantasy. (Oh, it also has a six legged cat!)

But what I really wanted to talk about was a new art program I've recently discovered. And maybe I'm a little behind the times, but it is wondrous. It's called Deep Dream AI, and as the name suggests, it actually has an AI generating images for you based on how you describe the image you want. And it is stunning! It does beautiful pictures, though it has problems. Number one unfortunately is that it can't do wings, which is why I had to tinker a little with the image above. (And there's more to do yet - this is just a draft!)

What blows me away though, is that the computer generates these images all by itself based purely on a few words you give it. Now that truly is science fiction!

Anyway if you've got a few spare moments, I'd recommend hopping over to the site, and taking a look. It has a limited free offer - probably about fifteen or so images you can experiment with - but unfortunately after that you have to pay. But it's well worth just seeing the brave new world of computing arriving in front of you.

(I just hope AI's don't start writing books - or I'll be in trouble!)

Other than that, I really haven't got a lot else to report. But as usual I wish you guys all the best. And as always, be good or don't get caught!

Cheers, Greg.

Byson Darious: The Man, The Myth The Unicorn!

 Hi Guys,

Happy New Year all. (Yeah, it's been a slow start to the year for me!) 

But I've been busy. Ever since I finished the first draft of Bound off around Christmas, I've been more or less head down in the book, editing and revising. A book that grew out to a hundred and seventy one thousand words! Every time I thought I was done, I realized there was just a little something more I needed to add. Still finally - yesterday - it's done.

Bound is a light-hearted epic fantasy about Byson Darious, an apothecary trying to live a simple life, but whose family seem to want to drag him into their own troubles - or get him to dig them out of them. And mixed in with that Byson has his own secret - that he has bound himself to a unicorn to gain a little more magic of his own. Naturally that has it's own unexpected consequences! But in the end, as the world is falling into ruin, it may be the very thing that's needed - naturally!

Anyway it's gone up and I'm glad. I'd almost begun to think for a while that I would never finish it. Now I can turn my thoughts to other things for a while - like getting the back yard cut back some more. A lot more. And solving the riddle of the ages - why when I threw out lawn seed on a patch of ground a few months ago, did only clover grow? I think it's magic! A curse. Or the cats did it - which is fairly much the same thing!

Also I have another pile of books in various stages of completion waiting for me to finally get round to finishing, and as usual I have no idea which I want to get to first. But I suppose there's no shortage of them to throw myself into. (That's a good thing, right?!)

Anyway I hope all of you are well and enjoying life in 2023. And as always be good or don't get caught!

Cheers, Greg.

Out Of Darkness

 Hi Guys,

Yes - Farry is finally published. It only took two years, give or take, got a new title - Out of Darkness -, and got rewritten half a dozen times! It also increased in size by 70 thousand words!

But some books are difficult - and this one has been a nightmare. The main problem has been the ending. I've had to rewrite it so many times to find the one that worked best. (Which sounds odd when there were only two possible endings - Farry was either going to end up with his former wife or his girlfriend - but there you have it!)

Still it's done and I still have a little hair left on my head!

But one thing I do have to say is that this is quite a heavy book. It starts off in a very dark place, which is why the ending was so tricky to write. I couldn't have my main man begin in such a bad place and end there as well. Yet given where he'd started it was always going to be impossible for him to find a perfectly happy ending. (Oh the problems of authors - always having to do the best we can for our characters! It's a heavy responsibility!)

Anyway I'm glad to finally have it finished so I can move on to something else - something lighter. And in the meantime I can wait for my eye surgery which shouldn't be too far away now. Really looking forwards to having someone come at my eye with a knife! And it'll be both eyes in time!

But that's life for me at the moment. I hope all of you are doing well, and best of wishes to any of you caught up in Hurricane Ian. It sounds really bad and I wish there was something I could say to help. But all I can really say is keep your chins up. I'm sure things will work out in time. They normally do even when things seem darkest.

Cheers, Greg.

 

 

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Conway - Ancient Space Travelling Humans In The Tropics Space Opera - On The Way.

Hi Guys,

Thought I'd let you know that I haven't been completely bone idle this past month or so. (I tried to be, but people and especially the cats wouldn't allow it!)

So this is the next book coming off the press - probably very shortly since it's already been through it's main revisions and edits. It's another ancient humans  from the stars space opera book - I sort of like that theme - with a few tweaks from other books. It may be slightly heavier than the Barton Villa books, and it's somewhat cynical about governments and rule (I'm just feeling that way a little lately!)

But the cover from 123RF looks glorious. Wierdest space craft I've ever seen and I love it! Actually it's supposed to be a shuttle - a futuristic steampunk space shuttle?! It took me a fair bit to get it looking like that by the way. This is the original image I purchased:

 

 

The original brilliant image is by 3000AD

And this is the first time ever the AGFA filter in Photoscape has actually been useful for me! But it gave me the start of the green grass. Then I had to use practically every other filter there was to bring up the colour and vibrancy and add some sky. It took me ages. But I love the result! It's not bad for a blind man! (At least until my cataract surgery in a few months!) 

But here's the thing - why shouldn't space craft be colourful?! Especially alien ones?! Why do they have to follow the set layout of colours and shapes - mostly metallic cylinders with pointed noses and stubby wings that the world seems to dictate? I'm not sure what the design language of this image is - kitchen utensil perhaps? - it looks to me like on of those old style loose tea brewing spoons - but I hope 3000AD has a few more of these coming!

Anyway the book is on the way, and hopefully not long after that I'll be able to actually see the computer screen again!

Cheers, Greg.

.

 

 

It's out!!!

 Hi Guys,

Just to let you know, A Farmer's Tale is finally out! And man - this one has been a struggle! Not only did it keep growing and growing - I think it has finally ended up at 170 K - a lot of the time I spent writing, rewriting and then immediately unwriting it. I don't know how many revisions it's had. And then it had multiple edits while my eyes tried to commit suicide in my head!

But it's finally done and I feel good about it. Hugely relieved too - there were times when I doubted I would ever get it done. And now I'm sitting here wondering what to do next - is it finally time to take up drinking? (I've been watching a youtube film reviewer a bit lately - the Drinker - and he makes it sound like so much fun!)

A Farmer's Tale is an epic fantasy set in a world with multiple races and realms, most of them just a tiny step away from the traditional ones, and of course some demons - different ones for each race. I also tried to get rid of the idea of an uber powerful villain in this one. There is one - but he's no James Bond type Doctor No and you barely get to see him. He also does what he does for understandable if not acceptable reasons. I wanted this story to be less about over the top mad men and the battle to defeat them, and more about the struggle to survive what they've unleashed.

The other theme I made use of in this work was that small things, minor magics, could in time bring about the most terrible consequences. It's just a matter of adding that spell in the right (or wrong) place.In that it's not so much different to a disease. Just think of all the times and places in history where a disease like small pox has been introduced to a new population - and then see the absolutely horrible outcomes. Maybe it's not a nuclear bomb going off, but in time the results may actually be far worse.

Anyway it's out, and I'm exhausted. So I hope you'll all enjoy the book, while I'll enjoy a good long rest - and maybe a beer!

Cheers, Greg..

A Farmer's Tale

 Hi Guys,

Good news, for once. I just polished off the first draft of a new book - A Farmer's Tale. So hopefully it should be out in the next month. 

 The odd thing about it is that A Farmer's Tale wasn't one of the half dozen or so books that was on my to do list. It was something that I'd half written and then put aside meaning to complete, years ago. But then a couple of weeks ago I just suddenly felt the need to pick it up again. I suppose that's just life as a pantster!

The book is an epic fantasy - yes I'm returning a little bit to my writing roots, and it's a little bit like Maverick. It's centered around a guy called Arven who really isn't a wizard at all. He's a farmer with a few spells as he regularly tells his fellow mages. There are no wizards! (Which in his world is fairly accurate. There's also no staffs, spell books or flying broomsticks either. And spells are cast instinctively with no one knowing what the words that come out of their mouths or the gestures they make, mean. They just come to them. And magic is learned more or less by copying one another.) But as he is informed by the faen (faerie) Queens when everything turns to custard along with his life, he isn't meant to know the answers. He just knows the right questions to ask!

Anyway I'm deep into the book now, losing sleep as usual as the writing bug bites. But I thought I'd let you know that there is hope on the horizon. Oh and that image up top (which I love!), I might alter it a bit but it's the cover.

So best of luck with everything guys. And as always be good or don't get caught!

Cheers, Greg.

Here's Hoping For A Better New Year

Hi Guys,

Running a little behind schedule with my writing at the moment - as usual! But once again I have an excuse!!!

 

In my case it began with a boil or a pimple on my back, somewhere about the middle of December. No big deal you'd think - except that it itched abominably and was right between my shoulder blades which drove me a little crazy. So for the next week or so I was imitating my cats, and rubbing myself like crazy against door posts.  But I live alone and the cats didn't say anything, so so what?!

Then whatever it was on my back became infected. So I trundled off to the Doc's and got some antibiotics as you do and for a time I thought everything was coming right. Until it wasn't Somewhere around the start of the New Year the antibiotics ran out and I just started getting sicker and sicker. We're talking major fever and incredible pain as if someone had a fist full of broken glass in my back and was squeezing. Which finally resulted in my calling for an ambulance in the middle of the night.

Roll on from there and I got to spend a few nights in the ED while they cut out a couple of absesses out of my back, one of which was the size of a golf ball, and then got to enjoy uncomfortable hospital beds for the rest of the week - though the food was fantastic!

 

After that they sent me home with a cyborg bandage - I'm not kidding! The damned thing is a bandage that the district nurses keep applying to my back every few days and which comes with its own suction pump that I have to carry everywhere. And every few days they cart away another cup full of ooze from my back. They tell me they'll be doing this for the next two months! Meanwhile I'm utterly exhausted, my back both itches and aches constantly, and it has become very hard to think about anything for more than a couple of seconds. Hence the reason I'm so far behind in my writing. And the nurses keep taking photos of my back! They say it looks a little like a bullet wound!

All because of a boil!

I"m not sure what the lesson here is. Don't scratch? Always keep your door posts nice and sterile? Maybe just that I'm getting older and more prone to these sorts of things? And it's more dangerous in the height of summer when you're sweating constantly? Or perhaps that I'm just a natural living pus factory!

Anyway, the upshot is that I haven't done any writing or editing for about a month. But the good news is that Gorgon's Run has still been through three complete edits, and I'm hoping as I start to find a little more energy, that I'll be able to do the final pass through before the end of the month and publish it. There's always hope!

So that's been the end of 2021 and the start 0f 2022 for me. Not the best of times really. But I suppose I've lost a little weight which is always good. I hope all of you have had better starts to the year and with a little luck, my next post will be to tell you that Gorgon's Run is out and Farry is nearly ready to start going through editing.

So cheers and a Happy new year to you all.

Cheers, Greg.

Gorgon's Run

Hi Guys,

Thought I'd just drop you a note to let you know that the next book is in process. The first draft is done and currently I'm busy revising it. The books called Gorgon's Run, and it's an urban fantasy, a little like the Wizard at Law series. (But possibly a bit darker in tone)) Hope fully it should be out in December, well before Christmas! It's also a little different in that the main hero is actually a gorgon! (And a police officer) The artwork for the cover camer from 123RF as a lot of my stuff does these days. But just to show you how I modified it, here's the original image I purchased.

And by the way - the monster may not actually be the villain of the piece. He may just be a lonely old sea monster looking for love!!! Aren't we all?!


Cheers, Greg

Who? is out!

Hi Guys, 

 

 

 Well this has got to be something of a record for me - two posts in two weeks! But also two books! But having said that I'm extremely happy to have got both books done - and extremely tired! (It also may be a while before the next book comes out, as I was devoting all my efforts to these two books and everything else is a way off.)

Who is a science fantasy novel set in the near future when global warming is starting to dictate the will of the world, and when exotics - vampires, werewolves and other odd people - have been exposed. When their exposure has required a formation of a specialized world wide policing initiative - the Exotic Protection Service or Dog Squad. And where my main protagonist is actually something completely new (or old) a skin walker.

I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you'll have a lot of fun reading it.

It's actually been good to get back into just solid writing and putting away the troubles of the world for a bit, and I think that maybe one of the best things about writing. Though I worry that the time is coming when I may be unable to continue as my eyesight worsens. It's nothing revolutionary, just a cataract and presbyopia, but I'm utterly opposed to the idea of someone with a scalpel getting anywhere near my eyes! Novartis has a drug for the presbyopia coming out for those who are affected - UNR844 - roughly one seventh of the world's population, but they don't seem to be in a hurry to market it. So the message here is if you are starting to suffer the effects of old man's eye, send them a letter.

In the meantime I'll keep struggling on and I'll wish all of you the best.

Cheers, Greg.

Prince Of Stars

Hi Guys,

Ok, still behind in my posting unfortunately. Still dealing with a lot of personal stuff I'm afraid. But that's life I suppose and I'm slowly getting through it. 

Anyway, even if I'm a bit slow in posting, I have still been keeping up with the writing. (At the moment I've been finding it quite therapeutic to just be able to lose myself in my writing - and also in UTube music videos!) And my latest space opera, Prince of Stars has just been pubbed. 

I'm quite pleased with the book. It has a fun element about it and a feel of a seventies style space adventure which will hopefully make for an enjoyable read. Given some of the stuff that's been happening in my own world that was something of a blessing to be able to escape into when I was writing it. And I think the cover, above, is a beaut too. It was one of those images that just seemed to grab my eyes when I first saw it.

And the good news is that I've also completed an urban sci fi called Who? which is now just starting to go through the editing process. It is a somewhat genre bending work set in the 2040's and definitely sci fi but including werewolves, vampires and skin walkers. Hopefully Who should be out in the next month or so.But the cover is as yet a work in progress. It's really hard to find something that fits the lead character who is a gender swapping, shape changer, millionaire recluse living on his own island  - but I'm working on it!

There's also a fantasy in the works - Jax - which starts with the main character's execution - but that's a little way off yet.

Anyway, I hope that that brings you guys a little cheer in these strange days and you're all well etc.

Cheers, Greg.

Anomalies

 Hi Guys,

Thought I'd better pull finger and get out a post this year - especially now that my first book is out for 2021.

Anomalies was a struggle to write and in fact I had to rewrite it several times before it reached a stage I was satisfied with. I think that's because it was one of the books that changed along the way. Though in it's case it wasn't the plot or the characters that fought to be something else, it was that the book developed an underlying theme. 

 In essence while you can read Anomalies as a straight forwards and hopefully enjoyable urban sci fi with a few thoughts on genetic engineering etc, it has an underlying theme about identity. Who are we and who do we think we are? And perhaps the most important question of all - who do we choose to be? All the main characters are wrestling with these questions throughout the story - with varying degrees of success. And while most of their issues are related to various forms of genetic engineering carried out upon them, it's still a question that can and probably should be asked by every one of us as we grow and change.

Anyway that's the nature of the book. Here's the blurb and I hope you enjoy it.

ANOMALIES:

Clem Atkins has lived happily on Coast Road in the Coromandel for sixteen years. To his neighbors he is nothing but a beach bum with an annoyingly loud car and a terrible wardrobe. They have no idea he escaped from a genetics lab as a child.

 

His neighbors also have no idea that the drug rehabilitation facility known as the Sanctuary, just a few k's down the road, is an alien base. And they would never suspect that Callie who peddles her way up and down the road every week to sell the Sanctuary's produce, is a surgically and genetically altered woman from another world.

 

And then there's Maggie, who only knows that she was built to be a spy, and she doesn't want to do that anymore. But there is no walking away from her life for those like her. And she doesn't know how to escape.

 

But when the navy shows up one day and starts bombing the Sanctuary the time for not knowing has to pass. It's time to start asking questions – and hope that the answers don't kill them all.

 

Cheers, Greg.

 

Lessons From French Class!

 Hi Guys,

Just realised that it's been a while since I posted. There's a reason for that - just not a good one! But yes I have been writing - a lot. Sadly only some of the time on Chy. But the good news is that I'm now in the last leg of that book and hope to have it out by the end of the year (yes this one!).

Anyway I thought I'd give you something to enjoy for Christmas. A true anecdote from my unfortunate past as a student. And yes there is a reason I chose that particular cartoon as a header. It seems so appropriate to me when I look back on my life!

Anyway they say that every good story should have a prologue, just as every good character should have a back story. I believe it applies to authors too. So here's one of mine.

 So a long time ago - more years than I care to admit to - or remember - I had to study French for school. And I was a terrible student of French. But really, if I can't spell in English or punctuate, what would have ever made them think I could do it in French?!

Anyway I was terrible at French. And come the end of the fourth form after two long years of complete failure and abject humiliation, the French master - a man we knew as Rubber Lips Anderson - had to finally admit defeat with me. But there were still tests to do. And so one day as he was preparing the class for one of them he decided to throw me an easy question. You know one of those most basic of questions just so he could satisfy himself that I'd actually learned something.

So he asked me in front of the whole class: "Curtis, when do you say "Si" in French?"

Naturally after two long years of study and having a huge encyclopedia of French vocab in my head (Not!) I knew it would be in there somewhere. And I searched desperately for the word. But it just wasn't there. I promise you though - I really did try. So in the end, knowing that another humiliating defeat was in store for me, and sweating just a little, I finally found an answer. The only answer I could think of.

I told him, "When you're speaking Spanish Sir?"

That day while my fellow students were falling all about themselves, laughing, I learned two very important life lessons.

The first was simple. That "Si" in French means "if". So I guess old Rubber Lips did actually teach me something. He should be proud.

The second was more in the nature of practical mathematics. Never sit at a desk within one metre of the Master's desk when he has a metre rule! My ear still hurts from the memory of having that wicked instrument of education wrapped around it!

Anyway I hope that brings you all some cheer for the holidays, and explains why my next book - "Practical Everyday French" - may be a little way off!

Merry Christmas all, and keep safe.

Cheers, Greg.

From Drought to Flood!

 Hi Guys,

Well it's been a while since I last posted. But I have a good (reasonable?) excuse. My writers block died away and I've been flat out writing since. Naturally this has it's pros and cons.

The pro is that Chy which I was struggling with is now 120K and maybe five or six chapters away from having a complete first draft.

The cons are that there's a lot of other new books at various stages. The one I'm most excited about is The Gorgon's Run which is an urban fantasy about a gorgon police officer in New Zealand who just wants to live a normal life and build his home. Unfortunately everyone else wants to murder him!

On top of that I'm exhausted - mostly from watching endless dvds! I re-watched all of News Radio which is hysterically funny, and then moved on to the British detective genre - Agatha Raisin, Shakespeare and Hathaway, and Queens of Mystery. They were all brilliant by the way.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, my house decided to start suffering plumbing problems - the noisy ones that drive you crazy as you can hear the damned water flowing under the house but can't work out where it's coming from and so can't sleep. The plumbers coming back on Monday for his latest visit - he doesn't even need to ask for directions to my home any more!

I used to have a car like that - a 1975 HC Viva. Pretty much every month I had a major repair and once it was done I'd tell the car there was nothing left to go wrong with it. I was always wrong! The saddest part of all was that the car eventually gave up on originality and started having the same breakdowns over and over again. I can't tell you how depressing it is when the starter motor pinion locks itself into the ring gear for the third time in six months and you know the whole gearbox is coming out yet again! There's a reason I went Japanese!

So anyway, that's been my life lately - plumbing bills and writing. But hopefully Chy will only be another month or so away and the house will have floated away on a river of water that came from its copper pipes which everyone keeps telling me will last for a lifetime! Then I'm thinking I'll buy a Japanese house!

Hope you're all well and practicing your social distancing. I just don't wear antiperspirant and that seems to do the trick!

Cheers, Greg.

The Man Who Fell Flies!

Hi Guys,

So The Man Who Fell is now out - in ebook form anyway, it could be another three days before the paperback edition gets approval. (Man was that a battle to prepare - there was a problem with the file and it kept getting knocked back, as usual with no explanation of why, so I had to nuke the text file completely and reformat from the ground up! The trials and tribulations of being an author!)

This ones an urban fantasy - I hadn't put out one for a while and thought I should - but it has no witches or wizards or spells. No vampires or werewolves either. Just a bunch of lineages / families with interesting gifts. The Ilans for example have essentially got super strength which they can pass on to their lovers. They're the Amazons by the way. The Domani can "suggest" things and have a limited ability to read minds. They're the descendants of the baba-yagas. And the Vans have the power of "awe". Essentially it's an almost spiritual power of light and overwhelming ... well awe ... that leaves people on the ground, stunned. There are other families of course, and they've all been battling with one another for thousands of years while always making sure that the normals never find out about them.

And into this mess comes Dale Fall, who returns early from his work one day, to find his wife in bed with another man, and then promptly gets picked up and hurled out the window of a thirtieth story penthouse in Manhattan. His wife's an Ilan though of course he had no idea. Roll on three or four years and he's an alcoholic living on a life style black in Hamilton New Zealand, still with no clue what's happening - and more superwomen are trying to kill him.

I really enjoyed writing this book, but as I did I kept thinking it borders on the superhero / mutant genre - except no guys in tights and no flying! No super criminals either - though all the families have long histories of making large amounts of money and gaining power through less than legal means! As I said at one point, the Domani have gone from telling fortunes to making them!

All of which left me with a strange question - just what is the difference between the superhero / mutant genre and the urban fantasy genre? Because it strikes me that they overlap a long way in some cases. Are superheros really just urban fantasy and mutants urban sci fi?

Anyway, thought I'd leave that question with you guys to think about. I need to go back to writing!

Hope you enjoy the book.

Cheers, Greg.

Barton Villa Flies Off Into The Sunset

Hi Guys,

Well Barton Villa Welcomes You 3 has made it to the digital shelves, and sadly it marks the end of the series. But I think it's the funniest and possibly the most biting from a social commentary perspective. It has a few words to say about racism, sexism and empowerment - which wasn't really the point of the book but just sort of came out in it. Personally I think it's the job of speculative fiction to delve into these areas from time to time.

I'm going to miss these books. They've been a roller coaster of fun as I've written them - which is probably part of why I've written them so quickly. The other part is of course the Corona Virus lock down, which has freed up a lot of time and also killed my television viewing, since half the shows I watch have died in a hurry!

I hope you've all found the time provided by the pandemic lock down productive and that none of you have become ill.

One of the things I have noticed during this time has been the way certain political leaders have risen to the challenge. Our own PM Jacinda has turned out to be an inspiration which surprised me a little. I didn't vote for her, her politics are different to mine, but she's impressed me enormously. I think the things we all need at times like this are people who get to the heart of the matter, tell it straight and actually seem to care about the people they lead. Not that I'm a cynic (yeah right!) but I've seldom encountered that in most politicians. I still won't vote for her because I'm a dyed in the wool green voter, but I appreciate what she's done for New Zealand. And who knows, maybe she'll come over to the green point of view and then I will!

Anyway, the third and final books out, and I hope you enjoy it. And remember - always keep your Nazi's spayed and neutered!

Cheers, Greg.