Lessons From French Class!

 Hi Guys,

Just realised that it's been a while since I posted. There's a reason for that - just not a good one! But yes I have been writing - a lot. Sadly only some of the time on Chy. But the good news is that I'm now in the last leg of that book and hope to have it out by the end of the year (yes this one!).

Anyway I thought I'd give you something to enjoy for Christmas. A true anecdote from my unfortunate past as a student. And yes there is a reason I chose that particular cartoon as a header. It seems so appropriate to me when I look back on my life!

Anyway they say that every good story should have a prologue, just as every good character should have a back story. I believe it applies to authors too. So here's one of mine.

 So a long time ago - more years than I care to admit to - or remember - I had to study French for school. And I was a terrible student of French. But really, if I can't spell in English or punctuate, what would have ever made them think I could do it in French?!

Anyway I was terrible at French. And come the end of the fourth form after two long years of complete failure and abject humiliation, the French master - a man we knew as Rubber Lips Anderson - had to finally admit defeat with me. But there were still tests to do. And so one day as he was preparing the class for one of them he decided to throw me an easy question. You know one of those most basic of questions just so he could satisfy himself that I'd actually learned something.

So he asked me in front of the whole class: "Curtis, when do you say "Si" in French?"

Naturally after two long years of study and having a huge encyclopedia of French vocab in my head (Not!) I knew it would be in there somewhere. And I searched desperately for the word. But it just wasn't there. I promise you though - I really did try. So in the end, knowing that another humiliating defeat was in store for me, and sweating just a little, I finally found an answer. The only answer I could think of.

I told him, "When you're speaking Spanish Sir?"

That day while my fellow students were falling all about themselves, laughing, I learned two very important life lessons.

The first was simple. That "Si" in French means "if". So I guess old Rubber Lips did actually teach me something. He should be proud.

The second was more in the nature of practical mathematics. Never sit at a desk within one metre of the Master's desk when he has a metre rule! My ear still hurts from the memory of having that wicked instrument of education wrapped around it!

Anyway I hope that brings you all some cheer for the holidays, and explains why my next book - "Practical Everyday French" - may be a little way off!

Merry Christmas all, and keep safe.

Cheers, Greg.